An Irene Toothpick Moment

 "I can find meaning in a toothpick," I've said to my daughters.

"Yes, we've noticed!"

With three older brothers and mostly adults around in my childhood, I'm pretty sure I spent a lot of time in early years observing and discovering more than speaking.  I might have picked up on a few tidbits of clarity here and there and developed a pattern for trying to figure things out.  Who knows?

I'm not sure when that may have transitioned to finding my voice - or if I've really found MY voice now.  I'm not going to try to figure that one out, but I do know that snagging a nugget of meaning and finding a way to express it have somehow evolved for me.

Searching for a little morsel of wisdom in the midst of whatever circumstance can be beneficial.  It can also become a bit maddening.  I am remembering such a situation.

Several years ago when Hurricane Irene made her trek through this area, she left only one piece of notable damage at my home.  From across Highway 58, a tall pine tree on Harriet and Syd's property was uprooted and the top part - with branches and needles and cones - was planted smack on my mailbox.

The road and driveway were quickly cleared and made passable, but my mailbox was left beyond repair.  The ground around it was a squishy and ragged conifer carpet.  We could have made wreaths for the neighborhood if it had been December.

On the morning after the storm, I recall pulling out of my driveway and wondering what all that mess meant, besides a clean-up job that would take a while and a sense of deep gratitude that the only casualty was easily replaceable.  So the pondering mind got right on it, figuring it out. ... The only damage was to my mailbox:  Was there a problem with my communication?   Was there a note I needed to write?  Had I been paying attention to every piece of mail? ... The tree came from my neighbor's property:  Was there an issue with the neighbor?  Had I forgotten something or offended someone? ... The clean-up was going to take some time and energy:  Did I need to step up my exercise routine?  Was there something I needed to see underneath all that clutter?  On it went. ....

In the less-than-two-mile strip before the intersection with Highway 158, my mind had circled the wagons several times on this mishap that involved my little old mailbox.  Abruptly I called myself out - out loud, "Hold on!  Do you have to find meaning in EVERYTHING!  TAKE A BREAK!  The storm blew down a tree.  It landed on your mailbox.  That's it!"  I took a deep breath and laughed, thankful for this interruption to my madness.

But wait!  What's the meaning here?  Who knows if there is any?  Perhaps it has to do with presence to the moment.  Maybe we can be attentive and open for a hint of wisdom without becoming compulsive and missing the sheer gift of being alive in the moment.  I'm naming that an "Irene Toothpick Moment" of intention.  (Speaking of which, we could have made a lot of toothpicks from that pine tree!)

Going forward, when I sense myself getting carried away to the extreme with finding meaning, perhaps I can call myself out with, "Irene Toothpick!"  and shift to a lighter train of thought!